Messes

Well, I have done what I do best ,once again, I messed things up. I dont understand myself. I dont understand how I do what I do. I dont heed advice, I dont listen to friends, I dont control myself, and then I hurt a lot of people. I am not going to get into the details I just have a few things that I have been challenged with, and so hopefully you can be challenged by them as well.

1) PROCEED WITH CAUTION:
Everytime I "learn a lesson" I ahve to go through the process of having it burned into my heart. It is like God takes a match and burns away the flesh, and scars my heart with a lesson that has been learned. My problem is that in my zealous efforts I learn the lesson in my head and forget that it will then be burned into my heart, forgetting this fact, I just truck through the next few weeks forgetting the very things that brought me to the lesson in the first place as though I have attained this lesson in life! And then, it will happen I will be thrown back two steps because I did not proceed with caution...

2) JUST SAY SO:
When I mess up it is my usual behavior to cover it up! Quick hide the evidence, lie!!! Do whatever it takes to save yourself and your reputation... whatever you do dont screw anything up! This last week I have learned just to say so... when you mess up just own it! When you sin just admit it! When you fail... Just take the consequences... Not only do you save yourself the stress of trying to cover it up, but then you actually reach the place of forgiving yourself. And even though it sucks for the people involved, you are forgiven by Christ!

3) LOVE IS NOT EASY:
It is easy to love superficially. When you dont know someones flaws an weaknesses it is easy to love them. A lot of my friends (I am not saying all) have done just that. See, when someone admits to their faults we need realize a couple of things. We are only good in Christ. We are not capable of anything more that that person! Then however hurt you might be close your eyes and think about how hard it is for a person to bear their sins in front of you... Adam and Eve were so embarassed that they hid themselves! Dont say you love someone and then decide you only love a part of them... Love bears all things... even each others weaknesses...

I say all of this as the person who screwed up! It has sucked... I lost a couple friends... I lost trust... I gained a new perspective of myself, and of my pride. I have gained a new perspective of love... I am one step closer to living in love and grace... and the purging of my flesh as it comes out!

Sorry to those of you involved, and for those of you who aren't well... just keep eveyrthing in your prayers!