Monday, February 26, 2007

on secret keeping and second families...

My mom and dad went to Utah to watch my baby nephew be born... So, off I go to one of my second families houses... Here I have 3 little sisters and one little brother... Machelle is a freshman in College, Marissa is a senior in high school, Megan is an 8th grader and Ricky is a 7th grader...
I have known them all forever, and it really is like my family. So, naturally I get told everything by the kids... The girls tell me every bit of anything that goes on... the good, the bad, and the stuff I dont want to know... I pick and choose what I need to remember and then throw out the rest... Then I pick and choose what needs to be passed onto "mom". Secret Keeping is a hard job. You get blaimed for telling stuff you didnt tell. You get blaimed for not telling enough. You get blaimed for trying to fix things, and attempting to help things out a little. Things are not always explained perfectly, because a lot of times they are not my feelings, and I get blaimed for misportraying things.
But why be the secret keeper? How did I get the job, myabe because I listen well... Maybe because I have screwed up, so people think they can trust me, maybe because I have been hurt so people think I will have some advice. Maybe because people know I care... But most importantly because then I can pray about everything.
I keep secrets, and some I tell... Not because I want to rat you out, but because I care about you, and I want the best for you... so, I'm sorry if the secret keeper doesnt keep everything perfectly kept, but it's a struggle sometimes to know both side of the picture. sometimes there are things mom will need to know are happening, and other times there are things you will need to know are happening... but know this, there are no secrets kept from God, big or small, or even uneventful ones... so, even if I dont tell mom, I tell the big guy upstairs, who knows anyway. On, that note... I love you all...

Monday, February 19, 2007

to all of my friends...

so after a long boring day... I started thinking... about who cares about me... who cares about me? who loves me? then I started thinking about why... why do those people care about? Why do they love me? and I realize that real honest and true friends will care about you when you have nothing to offer them...
it made this even more real to me...
"Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends."
So, I would like to apologize for my selfishness. For seeking what I want... For having myself always in the front of my thoughts. I would like to apologize to those I have claimed as friends, used as friends and then left high and dry... I would like to say sorry for the lies I have lived in my past. For the times I did not represent Jesus to you... For the times, I failed to bring you to Jesus... Sorry for when I chose myself over you.... Sorry for when I let my pride get in the way, for when I am too good... Sorry for letting you down and giving up... all of you, one time or another... I'm sorry I didn't believe that Jesus was enough....

Sunday, February 18, 2007

breathin easy

So, on Friday my kids had their first performance. It was for grandparents day, and I think i was more nervous than they are. Having the principal watching everything take place and having it be my first big hting, was nerve racking... I threatened grades for bad behavior, and handed out a lot of good behavior reports. After a rough dress rehersal I was scared. The kindergarteners didn't know where to stand how to get on stage or how to get off stage, and they were the first performance! but when they stood up there all looking at me for their motions I just prayed!
Please God let this go well...
and being that they were taught based on their places when to sit down, I was worried... cause NO ONE was in the right spot... but when I gave the first group the signal to sit down they looked around and figured it out all on there own that they were supposed to sit if they were in the first two rows, even if I had told them the day before who was to sit when... I was amazed!
These kids have it in them I thought to myself... and then God said to me, Jamie, I got this one all under control... relax...
and that is when I remembered who I seemed to have forgotten at the begining of the day... Thanks God...
For the things we think you are not interested in... Ironically one little girl came up to me after and said, Ms. Nielsen. My grandma and grandpa couldn't come today, so I was sad, but I remembered how you told us we perform first for Jesus and then for everyone else... and I got happy again, cause I knew someone was watching me perform today too...
That made my whol stressful week worth while!

Friday, February 2, 2007

I am one of those people!

So, this job is making me tired. I see why people who commute will wait for starbucks to be open! I also see what keeps starbucks in business, cause you don't only buy a coffee at 5 am you need another one by 3 pm and then to stay awake in traffic at 6 pm. that makes for a 20 dollar a day bad habit just to keep the commuters awake!
Then there is the radio. I started enjoying the talk part of the radio segments! It was like sitting in a car listening in on a conversation my friends were having... To make it worse... I talked back!!! then I realized those are the people on the freeway I used to think were crazy for talking to themselves, turns out they're not they are simply imputting their own comments into the coversation of the radio personalities! I am officially one of those people....