Expectations

I have been thinking over expectations... You know when you put on your headphones and sit back and just watch... I sat outside on the grass today, partly because I was too sore to move, and partly because I was penssive.
I started think about cheering at the game last night... I have a black eye and bruises all over my leg, and not because we did anything wrong, but the wounds are simply proof that we did everythign right... my backspot gripped my leg so tightly she gave me bruises... when I was caught on the way down i got a fist in my face that gave me a black eye... i got a cut on my wrist because I stayed tight on the way down in my show and go and caught someone's bobby pin... and it clicked... sometimes what is good is not what we expect.
As I layed back and looked up at the sky I started thinking... who would have thought that we use the stars to represent freedom, shoot for the stars we say... but yet in the midst of LA in the midst of a country so controlled by freedom, we have lost sight of the stars... we have become enslaved to freedom itself! sad...
I am going to be bold and type some things on here I must admit I'm not sure I want everyone reading, for once in the life of this blog I am praying that the only people who really read this is Rose and Char... ;)
I had expectations for my life... I had it all planned... and I let go of that when I tried out for cheer here at Biola, and I am happy. I am going to college, something I thought would never happen! I am a flyer on a college cheer team, something I never thought was possible! I am building into community, slowly but strongly... making firm foundations, and I never knew it could be as great as it is!
I met some girls on my floor last night and I let go of my social anxieties and I had a lot of fun... It was like being able to breath again after you choke really hard on something...
I had a picture in my mind of what love would look like... and instead of surrendering it the Jesus I went looking for it... I looked for it for a long time! I fought for it even, but then, I surrendered my expectations and it seems as though love has found me. Not at all what I tohught it would look like. Not at all what I thought it would be, but it makes so much more sense than what I was looking for...
I suppose the Jews missed their messiah because he was not who they expected. I suppose that the slaves freed from the south did not expect that the underground railroad they heard about would be led and established by a woman, or who would have expected Rahab to be involved in the plot siding with the God of the universe. I suppose the outcome was not expected when they split the first atom...
Expectations hold us back from the Bigger things God has in store... sometimes all we have to do is surrender our expectations and watch as God pours out all the things He had in store! Just a thought... what do you think?