Friday, February 1, 2008

new beginings

So this was the first week of school for the new spring semester. I know that starting over is always hard, because let's face it how many times have I had to start fresh in a new place all over again. I think we decided the average for my life was like 6 months or something.

So, I'm in that place again. I am in a new dorm, new classes, and have some new friends. I am back to the place I am always brought back to where God whispers in my ear, "Just be who I made you to be..." That is my struggle. Being myself. I have come down with a case of massive social anxiety, and the thought of having to say my name in a seeting with more than 4 people makes my herat start to pound! Ironic being that I won so many speech competitions in high school.

Then I find myself back here at my computer sucked into my writings. When I have something to say I just type it up and post it somewhere... Either here or on our hall floor folder; thats funny, because no one knows who the really smart girl is that keeps posting these challenging devotions! :) I like it that way.

Anyway, classes are excellent! I am already itching to get started on them all... I cant wait! Its not just the classes, but my teachers this semester are really into their classes not just as a subject but in the students! I cant wait to see how God moves amonst the people in my classes.

community, it has been a major pull in my life for quite awhile now. If you havent read my ramblings about community go look for them... EVERYONE needs to read them!!! Anyway, I am having a hard time getting into it. It feels already established and like they look at me with eyes that say, "Who is that girl?" And I get stuck with that question in mind... Who am I? Who I am to be to them? Obviously I know I am to be everything Jesus was to us, but am I to be their prophet? Am I to be their Love? Am I to be their thorne in their flesh? what will this year bring me to be to them.

I dont know... but I cant wait to just watch the plans of the Lord unfold before me... I love to see His handy work!

1 comment:

Rose Starr said...

I too look forward to reading the God stories from your life this semester. Just do it! You are God's precious daughter and He's made you with your personality, gifts and feelings in order to reach other people with His love. I pray that you are open and bold and do not give in to self doubt, but instead cast all those thoughts to Him. Let the new beginnings begin!
~Rose